Weeping endures for a night, but Joy comes in the morning.

Winter is often a time of desolation in the Northeast with ice,snowstorms and frigid temperatures. For a Senior Citizen it can also be a time of desolation as the weather often keeps them home-bound. Their normally youthful cheery positive personalities take a back seat to the aches and pains that come with old age.

This week was especially tough with the passing of Marianna M.
M&M as we all like to call her was a feisty woman..She never wore her hearing aids so everything that she blurted out was loud and clear.  She made sarcasm a science , but was as gracious and as kind as they come. Oh, how I liked her!
  I called her "the doctor" because she could slice a cake or pie perfectly. Every piece was even. To watch her cut one of my messy cheesecakes with a piece of dental floss was incredible. She had hands like a surgeon. Many times she bailed me out at one of my parties.

Marianna was an avid Bingo, Bunco, and Mah-jong player and if she suspected you of cheating - you were doomed and everyone in the room knew it.
On Saturday, Father Sean read her Memorial Mass and there wasn't a dry eye in the chapel including Father Sean. It was a time of not only great sadness but also one of tremendous laughter. Her nephew told of the time when he was having dinner at his Aunt and Uncle's and he did not want to eat his veggies. Uncle Tom reminded  him- that there were many people in Africa who were starving. John just thought :Well I'm only 5, but his next thought was:"I'd better eat them because Aunt Marianna packs a gun."  Story after story from her family and friends told of a no-nonsense  but kind individual.

Tonight, when I came to work Granny Annie brought me a metal spatula and a Angel candle that Marianna wanted me to have. I think I will have it engraved with this phrase: "From the doctor 1/23/11."

So here's to you- Marianna- May you rest in God's peace and presence.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

In 1968, Nancy and Paul Musuco were busy unloading a truck-full of Christmas trees that they planned to sell from their corner lot when Nancy noticed an envelope sticking out behind one of the branches. It was addressed to Santa. 
" Dear Santa,

My name is Heather and I am ten years old. My mom is having a new baby so she told me and my brothers that we couldn't really afford to get any Christmas presents this year. I was just wondering if you could still bring me  a doll and my little brothers some toy soldiers?

Love Heather-

ps- I live in Canada in the red house

Paul's response was: "Nancy buy this girl the biggest doll you can find and send it to the address on the letter. So, Nancy did and a few weeks after Christmas they received a letter from Heather's mom thanking them for the doll and telling the Musuco's a little a bit about their family.  Yes, it was true a new baby was on it's way and things were tight but they weren't hungry or homeless.It truly was a thank you letter and not someone just looking for a handout.
Again, Paul instructed his wife to send them some money and over the next ten years a wonderful correspondence developed between the two families.
What makes this story unique is that the Musuco's didn't have much money either. Paul had lost his job and they had four children of their own to care for. They sold the trees to help make ends meet.
So yes Heather there is a Santa Claus !

Side Note: Paul died not soon after, but Nancy lived until she was 92. She came to live @ the Senior apartments with her daughter Rose who told me this story. When I blog about Rose you will see how there example to their children still lives on in Rose.

"A Lesson L earned or Be sure your Sins will find you out"

Several weeks ago Marie Stoica passed away on her 89th birthday. She had been out to dinner with her family and suffered a fatal heart attack.

 I consider myself fortunate to have known Marie if even for a short time. Marie was very hard of hearing and when you talked with her you had to shout and she was hard to understand unless you listened very carefully.
She was one of the original tenants along with her brother Pat so everyone knew her and she was well liked. One would describe her as a "sweet little old lady". Her kindness was immeasurable and that was evident in the fact that she befriended"The Duchess" the most hated person in the building(but that's another story for another time)They were friends for years and came to both the daytime and evening activities together. However, one afternoon while playing Bunco, Marie was really having trouble hearing and "the dutchess" proceeded to call her "stupid" . Needless to say Marie was mortified and highly embarrassed. I heard all about this incident when I came in that evening and hoped to speak to Marie , but I didn't get the chance for almost 6 weeks. When she finally came down I was able to reassure her that she was welcome and that she could sit with the other tenants and not have to worry about being harassed.
 On the day she died her brother Pat went to confront- the duchess. Basically, what he said was this-" My sister was your friend and you treated her terribly. She loved you like a sister and you broke her heart. Now your chance to apologize is gone and I hope you have to live with this the rest of your miserable life.
She broke down in tears and only God knows if she was truly contrite.

Charlene reminded me of the first lesson- "In this building we are surrounded by death the best way to deal with it is "for those you liked remember them with fondness and for those you didn't be glad they're gone!

The Duchess gave us the second lesson- do not speak in harshness and haste as you may never get to apologize for it




.

Kids' say the Darndest Things!

This afternoon was the monthly visit from a local Kindergarten class. Normally, this is a very chaotic few hours as the students sense freedom from the classroom and the teachers just let them run wild. However today, they seemed to take a special interest in the "Senior" that was assigned to their group. They also got the "experience of a lifetime" when Ray came down with his magical accordion. They just couldn't figure out what instrument he was playing- they finally decided that it was a combo piano and squeezebox! Unfortunately for Ray, their interest lasted about 3 minutes and then they began to squawk.

They are always full of comments and questions and two particular questions caught all of our attention: "Grandma Audrey- do you all eat together in this room" No we all go upstairs to eat. "Doesn't it get kinda crowded up there? 

"Granny Annie- do they ever let you outta here or do you have to bust out?"

Nobody could quite figure out why they behaved so well today. The only thing explanation we could come up with was that the teachers and parent volunteers  kept a watchful eye on the kids and genuinely seemed interested themselves
Amazing what a little crowd control can do!

Ye-Shey

Ye-Shey is one of my favorite tenants. At 89 years old she is a snappy dresser and a stunning looking woman. She has a great sense of humor and is incredibly competitive. It is not unusual for her to yell out "Mama Mia" if she fails to pick up a spare in bowling. Her oldest daughter Hong Wei is a Buddhist monk in Texas and she is also the proud grandmother of a recent West Point Graduate. She has been a widow for thirty years and is very independent. Tonight she apologized for being late(she's always late!). I said Ye-Shey, were you out dancing again with your boyfriend?" With laughter in her voice and that devilish look in her eye she said- "Me no have boyfriend - just a husband and that was enough!"

Her story begins as an 8 year old girl living on the island of Taiwan when the Japanese invaded. In order to protect her child from being taken  her mother had her birth certificate altered to state that Ye-Shey was only "four" and therefore too young to leave home. To this day her birth certificate states that she was born in 1926 and officially she is only 84. Life on the island was difficult and all children had to learn to read, write and speak Japanese. She was even given the name Kasumi. The intent was to completely wipe out the Taiwanese culture. Life must have been extremely difficult and Ye-Shey talks very little about this time but I could see a far away look in her eyes as she related this story to me.
Something else that I find interesting is she makes it clear that she is Taiwanese and not Chinese.
BTW, she often hops the bus into Chinatown, meets up with friends and goes dancing. She always tells me and then says: "but don't tell my son!

She finally went to the Dr. office last week as she has cataracts. Rose M. took her to help translate and she will need surgery but she is afraid. Many of the  other tenants have had  success and everyone is trying to reassure her that she will see much better. I finally had to say to her:"Ye-Shey if you don't get the cataracts removed you will go blind like my dog and there will be no more secret trips into the city and I will tell your children on you!!
Needless to say- Dec. 20th is her appointment

Introduction

I am the evening and weekend Activity coordinator for a low income- independent living Senior complex. There are over 200 individuals living here  ranging in age from 62- 99 . It is a very diverse community and one of the things that I enjoy about the tenants is that they don't worry about being politically correct. They are very proud to be Chinese, Taiwanese, Indian, and American. They willing share their culture with one another and in general have formed a "community"
They have lived through invasions, wars,  poverty, suffered imprisonment for their religious and political beliefs and just as important are still living productive and independent lives . These are their stories